Understanding Sexual Desire
Sex is a fundamental and primitive act, though the dance that precedes it remains complex and enigmatic. New research tries to unlock the factors that contribute to sexual desire in men and women, searching for answers.
Brain’s Neural Pathways the Key
The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Bloomington, Ind. found distinct neural pathways in the brain thought to control sexual stimulation and inhibition. They presume that one pathway acts as the catalyst for sex, while the other delivers the counterbalancing inhibitor. The ease with which these pathways are excited, relative to each other, are determinants in people’s sex-drive, self-control and risk aversion.
The interplay of these two pathways, rather than an individual’s sex-drive may yield interesting behavioral predictors. People who engage in risky sex are not necessarily more sexually active, but may have weaker inhibiting pathways. It follows that this same neural combination may also be a factor in determining one’s predisposition to commit rape and engage in unprotected sex.
Men - Sex Drive and Risk Aversion are Distinct
In the study, men were presented with a series of sexual images and a questionnaire to establish whether they were “easily excited” or “not easily excited” sexually. These groups were then split among “easily inhibited” or “not easily inhibited” with another round of images. In this case, some images depicted healthy consensual sex and others showed violence.
Men found to be more easily sexually excited than other men responded faster to sexual images regardless of their nature. More interestingly was that men who has weaker inhibitions, regardless of their sexual excitability level, responded with a higher degree of sexual interest to the violent sexual images.
This may be the key to understanding one’s propensity to engage in sexually risky behavior. Those with weaker sexual inhibitions are not necessarily more easily excited or more sexually active, but have a weaker ability to control sexual desire once stimulated. This same group reported a lower condom use, despite fewer sexual partners. Given their lowered self-control and poorer judgment, they may also be more likely to commit rape.
Women - Sexuality More Complex and Ambiguous
Women’s sexual desires have long been regarded as more complex and the study found that this belief has merit. Women were found to respond more strongly than men to emotional and psychological factors; whereas men are more easily excited by images.
Ongoing research is trying to unlock the correlation between a woman’s sexual desires and behavior with her self-image. Historically, popular culture may have depicted promiscuous women as ones with low self-esteem, however a recent cultural shift, due in part to Sex and the City, may make correlates less clear. That is, women with a high degree of self-confidence and presumably self-image, like “Samantha Jones”, in the show, may be just as sexually active as women with low self-esteem, who may “give-in”, in order to please. The inextricability of numerous factors and individual variability make such a study an ambitious task at best. The methods will be equally as interesting as the results.
But the study yielded some interesting findings about women’s sexual attraction. Women’s sexual interest in the genders is less binary than men’s. Heterosexual women are more likely to find other women attractive, than are heterosexual men to admire other men. This is especially the case among women with higher sex drives. The study found that men are either straight or gay and there is little in between.
Girls Gone Wild Culture
In the case of women, this seems to square with increasing North American cultural acceptance of heterosexual women engaging in sexual acts with other women. Anecdotal evidence suggests that these acts are largely for public display rather than pure attraction, as scenes from Girls Gone Wild would suggest. However, straight women are much more likely to have a measured physiological sexual response to other women, than are straight men to other men.
What About the “Down Low?”
In the case of men, the results seem to contradict empirical findings about male behavior. For example, the “Down Low” culture, where men who report to be heterosexual, have sex with other men, seems to refute these findings. Here it may be the case that men who report to be heterosexual are actually gay, but resist their true sexual desires most of the time, due to cultural reasons, such as homophobia.
We await findings and further research with great anticipation.
Sex & Knowledge
What Teens Really Need to Know About Sex
Besides physiological facts and pertinent warnings about sexually transmitted diseases, there are five important, and all too often overlooked, facts that teens need to know about sex. This is what you might tell your teenager:
1. Sex is an acquired skill. People expect miracles when they first have sex, not realizing that people need time and experience and patience to grow in their capacity to give and receive pleasure.
2. Sex is best enjoyed by those who are grown up, emotionally as well as physically.
3. Men and women have some important different physiological responses to sex and it's important to be aware of these to avoid misunderstandings.
4. The anxiety of a first time ever or with a new partner can create problems with one or both partners. Patience, understanding and gentle reassurance are vital.
5. Finally, mature love and commitment can make sexual experiences much more satisfying. Tell your teenager that sex is best when one truly trusts and can be completely one's self with another.
If Your Teen Is Having Sex
It is a definite shock to discover that your teen is having sex. You may feel anxious, angry, disappointed, and distressed, and wonder "What do I do now?" Here are some suggestions:
1. Take time to collect your thoughts. Calm down if at all possible before discussing the matter. Lashing out at your teen can only escalate the conflict between you.
2. Let your teen know how you feel in a caring way, and then listen to his or her feelings as well. You'll get through to him better with dialogue than with a ranting monologue.
3. Realize the limits of your power and set limits as you are able. Teens don't usually stop having sex just because a parent demands it. But you can let your teen know that you disapprove and will not permit his/her sexual activity in your own home.
There is a fine line to be sure between accepting the reality of your teen's sexual activity and condoning it. But you can let your teen know that you disagree with his sexual choice, while letting him know, too, you care enough to emphasize the importance of safe sex and consistent use of birth control if he or she doesn't choose to abstainSex & Knowledge
What Teens Really Need to Know About Sex
Besides physiological facts and pertinent warnings about sexually transmitted diseases, there are five important, and all too often overlooked, facts that teens need to know about sex. This is what you might tell your teenager:
1. Sex is an acquired skill. People expect miracles when they first have sex, not realizing that people need time and experience and patience to grow in their capacity to give and receive pleasure.
2. Sex is best enjoyed by those who are grown up, emotionally as well as physically.
3. Men and women have some important different physiological responses to sex and it's important to be aware of these to avoid misunderstandings.
4. The anxiety of a first time ever or with a new partner can create problems with one or both partners. Patience, understanding and gentle reassurance are vital.
5. Finally, mature love and commitment can make sexual experiences much more satisfying. Tell your teenager that sex is best when one truly trusts and can be completely one's self with another.
If Your Teen Is Having Sex
It is a definite shock to discover that your teen is having sex. You may feel anxious, angry, disappointed, and distressed, and wonder "What do I do now?" Here are some suggestions:
1. Take time to collect your thoughts. Calm down if at all possible before discussing the matter. Lashing out at your teen can only escalate the conflict between you.
2. Let your teen know how you feel in a caring way, and then listen to his or her feelings as well. You'll get through to him better with dialogue than with a ranting monologue.
3. Realize the limits of your power and set limits as you are able. Teens don't usually stop having sex just because a parent demands it. But you can let your teen know that you disapprove and will not permit his/her sexual activity in your own home.
There is a fine line to be sure between accepting the reality of your teen's sexual activity and condoning it. But you can let your teen know that you disagree with his sexual choice, while letting him know, too, you care enough to emphasize the importance of safe sex and consistent use of .if he or she doesn't choose to abstain.
In our next session, we discuss it in more detail.............. till then Good bye......
